The Idea

From its very inception, the title of Adrian Colesberry's book, How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry demanded the creation of some tool that readers could use to create a book of their own about how to make love to them. Adrian's writing of the book and programming of this game were simultaneous efforts.

The Hope

Adrian's beloved United States is one of the only places in the developed world where sex is generally viewed as a bad thing. If an alien were getting all it's information by monitoring American television, movies and news, it would report to its leader that human sex is a terrible plague that invariably leads to horrible consequences.

How America backed into this bizarre, unnatural and perverse sex-negativity is beyond the scope of this discussion, but regardless of how it happened, it's a real pity. Life is full of bad things, but sex isn't one of them. Sex is the glue that keeps families and relationships together. Sex literally creates life. As Adrian often says, "There is nothing more family friendly than sex." For the vast majority of people, sex (in fantasy, solo, and in relationships) is one of the most consistently pleasurable parts of their entire stay on this planet. The perverse social forces that have turned sex into a bad thing seem, at the very least, to be ungrateful for one of the great comforts and blessings of a life fully lived.

If sex is a bad thing because it sometimes has negative results, then gravity is a bad thing and food and money are bad too, and on and on.

Adrian not only believes that sex is a good thing, he believes that if people had better sex the world would be a better place. Because it is such an important part of our lives, it deserves the kind of attention that people give to their spiritual lives and their economic lives and their sporting lives. As it says on the top of every page, "No one can love you for who you are until you tell them how to love you." So sign up, take a survey and tell someone how to love you.

The Program

After doing a proof-of-concept for automatic writing in Excel, Adrian contacted X.I.G. systems about making an engine that he could program to do on the internet what he was already doing in a spreadsheet environment.

The XML engine designed by Adam Schroeder and Luke Mitchell was simple in concept and plenty flexible to meet his needs. Not a programmer by training, profession or hobby, Adrian set about learning how to program the engine to compose a book based on the choices made by users. The process has been exciting and joyful and frustrating in turns, and sometimes all at once, as anyone who has ever programmed anything can tell you.

The Author

Adrian Colesberry was born at 7:20 in the morning after a delivery that caused his mother, by the kindly woman's own report, no pain. Since that day, he has taken scrupulous care to endow the rest of his life with the same modesty and kindness that characterized his miraculous entrance into this world.

He got a degree in biomedical engineering (painful, true, but only for him). After college, he spent ten years managing manufacturing operations in the pharmaceutical industry where, he is proud to report, he never made any product that could be used to pour gasoline on the raging fire of male insecurity about whether their penises are long enough or thick enough or hard enough or hard enough for long enough or hard enough fast enough or hard enough at the right time enough...

Adrian remembers a golden age when the cure for perceived erectile deficiencies was something called cunnilingus and he believes that those were happier times for men and (especially) for women. Ladies?

In the evenings, after work, Adrian did stand-up comedy, proving once more the age-old formula:

corporate drug manufacturing + time (approx 2 hours) = comedy.

In 2002, he landed a spot on NBC’s Late Friday. Watch his TV set here.

After his divorce, Adrian quit his corporate job and found humbler employment as a background extra in film and TV. He didn't get to deploy his college education as an extra, but he did gain a brand new skill set including: dressing himself, arriving at a specific location at a specific time, filling out an employment voucher, shutting up when anyone said, "Rolling!" sitting, standing and walking in lines, both straight and curved.

Adrian highly recommends extra work for reducing your karmic load. The most ambitious monk would be challenged to do less in one day than an extra. It was during his Zen-like retreat into extra-land, that Adrian wrote the dirty, funny, dirty How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry.

Much of the book was written on a Palm Pilot standing around between takes on such fine films as Aviator and Spiderman 2, and on celebrated TV shows like Boston Legal, ER, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Entourage in which his back and torso and face have appeared for countable fractions of a second.